Welcome to a project I've been putting off for a while! My name is Hannah Na, but my artist name is Bellevue!. I've always been someone who internalizes and poorly externalizes my emotions and thoughts, the only times I really piece things together are when they're somewhere out there.
It kind of sounds stupid and insecure in a way, but I find comfort in feeling like someone is listening or digesting my words. There are events in my life I've processed to coexistience, things that don't really hurt me, however, are still incredibly interesting to try and analyze in different ways. Well, I really don't believe in processing anything to "completion," there is always more to discover about yourself and who you were then in those moments. I'll write about old news, new, maybe even the mundane, there is so much around me that is art.
As of 9:12 AM on a Thursday in August (22/08/2024 to be specific), I'm overly enthusiastic about everything else except my interpersonal relationships. I've never felt so segmented from the person I've built myself to be to how everyone in this new place perceives me to be. For the time being, I'm not with an individual that I thought was going to be my entire life, I'm not around the people who pledged allegiance to our respective relationships, not around family, not around anything familiar to me. A part of me will always be reserved for them, always waiting for all of it to come back to me, but the rest realizing and coming to terms it'll never be the same.
Take this entire website as my personally, poorly produced, sob story. Even happier subjects have a null to them, I couldn't keep it out of my dialogue if I tried. Hyperanalytical longing that negates what really happened, but there isn't any account of anything that hasn't already been processed, right?
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